The So Many Thoughts 2023 Gift Guide
What I love, what you love, and what you all work so hard to make.
The holiday season is flying by! So (very) many gift guides have been popping up on my Instagram feed, in my inbox, and all over the web. I’ll be honest, I struggled a bit with sending one this year. I have compiled a list since 2019 and it was starting to feel like I needed to somehow outdo myself each time? The hunt to find more, more, more felt increasingly at odds with how I shop.
I had a bit of an ah-ha moment thanks to
and her recent newsletter on how this has gotten out of control: “Gift guides in aggregate have become the thing they were supposed to defeat — something to sift through and puzzle over rather than true curation.” YEP.So! For this year’s 2023 So Many Thoughts Gift Guide, I am sharing recommendations with the theme LOVE. The list that follow are things I love, things you love, and things you love to make. Here’s a guide to…well, my gift guide. 🙃
Part 1: My faves. Pieces I have now myself or am asking for this Christmas (Matt, click these links!). These are things I use regularly and things I can’t stop thinking about.
Part 2: Your faves. Here I am channeling our multiples idea, with a gift-giving twist. I put out a call on Instagram for the gifts so good you buy them every year and received some awesome ideas. Below are a few that jumped out to me; check out the full SMT Multiples—GIFTS! spreadsheet for lots more recommendations.
Part 3: What you love to make or sell. A big virtual hug to all of the small business owners in the SMT community! I asked for your passion projects on Instagram and got so many incredible submissions. I’ve shouted out a few below; click through to the SMT Small Business Gift Guide spreadsheet for all the incredible creators among us.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to share! And thank you for your support of So Many Thoughts here on Substack this year. Your paid subscriptions make this all possible…and would make a great gift. 🫶
Happy shopping, friends. But mostly: I hope your holiday season is filled with love.
👑 For the royal enthusiasts among us, check out my earlier guides — 2022, 2021, 2020, and 2019 — for so many ideas, gifts fit for a queen! You can also pick up a copy of my book, , wherever you get your books.
The 2023 So Many Thoughts Gift Guide
Note: This newsletter contains affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase I may get a small commission at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting SMT!
***If this email gets cut off, you can find the 2023 gift guide here.***
What I Love
My tried-and-true faves, plus two things I actually put on my list this year. When I was making this collage, Bird peered over my shoulder and said: “We already have that…and we already have that!” I gave her a hug. “That’s the point!” I said.
Clic k to shop: The serum I use every morning
As soon as I step out of the shower in the morning, I slather my face with Vitamin C serum. It’s hydrating, especially in these dry winter months, plus adds enough of a glow without shine. There are a lot of options out there, but this one is my favorite. A splurge, to be sure, but well worth it! (There’s an oil I love, too.)
Click to shop: The sweater I steal from Matt
For the gents in your life, or yourself, the softest, slouchiest, but not too heavy cardigan. It dresses up a t-shirt or tones down a button up. If Matt leaves it out, I’m quick to put it on myself.
Click to shop: My favorite holiday decor collection
This Nutcracker motif is sprinkled throughout my home. The brand has gifted me a few pieces, and I’ve also bought loads myself. We have the serving platter, the frame, the ornament, the mugs — so many fun things!. I find it all so sweet for my kids but still sophisticated. And it’s all on sale right now! (For full-price pieces, use code Elizabeth25 for 25% off.)
Click to shop: The glossiest (but not sticky) lip gloss
I love a bold lip but for daily wear I’m more of a lip gloss girl. I want soft color, lots of shine — but no stickiness. This formula ticks all the boxes and in a great shade range. Kiss is pinkish-clear; Push is slightly browner. (PS Do not sleep on the tinted moisturizer! My top beauty rec to everyone everywhere. Light coverage, hydration, and SPF — yes, yes yes.)
Click to shop: Bird’s cozy, colorful fleece
When I shared this kiddo jacket on Instagram, someone wrote back: Boden vibes at Old Navy prices. It’s the truth! I love how colorful this fleece is, the pattern picks up and compliments whatever shade she is wearing that day. (Comes in leopard print and clouds, too.)
Click to shop: The sunglasses that go with everything
I bought these up on a whim ahead of the coronation and have worn them almost every day since! Favorite sunglasses ever! The “Tokyo black” color goes with everything and the round shape is so flattering. (Plus, they are 50% off right now.)
Click to shop: My go-to lounge bottoms and top
Every time I take an early-morning or late-night or very-long flight, this is the set I wear. It’s also great for school drop off when I do not have it in me to put on “real” clothes. I have it in the “midnight heather” colorway, with enough dimension to the shade to camouflage any spills or stains. PS, the same set comes in men’s, too—Matt loves his!
Click to shop: The suitcase I bring everywhere
Speaking of travel, I bought this suitcase for my trip to the coronation and have been very impressed! The bigger carry-on holds a lot (don’t sleep on the packing cubes, either) and is much easier to roll through the airport than my old bags.
Click to shop: Fitz’s favorite book to browse
My eldest is quite the lover of facts and this almanac is an instant fave every year. He opens to a random page and dives in, popping his little head up to say: Did you know…?! We have all learned so much!
Click to shop: Fair Isle cardigan (in HRH blue!)
The minute I saw this pop up on Instagram, I added it to my list. These shades of blue (my fave!) offer cozy, chic vibes for the rest of winter. PS: If you aren’t familiar with Alex Mill, it was started by the son of J.Crew founder Mickey Drexler. It takes preppy and makes it a little more relaxed, and a little more cool. Love, love, love.
Click to shop: Vintage-esque candle warmer
If I could, I would light candles all around my house all day long. But all those flames scare me! I spotted this idea on Chris Loves Julia’s gift guide and have since been browsing for one that will work in our home. Love how it’s both functional and stylish (an upgrade from a basic little circle candle warmers).
What You Love
The gifts that are so good you buy them every year. Click below for the full spreadsheet, filled with 175+ ideas.
Click to shop: Anthropologie Amelie Latte Mini Bowls
Abby says, “Literally have given this to everyone! Perfect for hosting (dips, candy, olives, etc) or snacks. Use them weekly at our house! So many color options! Love to mix and match!!”
Click to shop: Cuyana Travel Case Set
Mary says, “I've given this gift to my two different bosses at two different jobs and my maid of honor. I love that is practical, you can add their monogram, and it’s a buttery pebbled leather that gets better with time.”
Click to shop: All Along You Were Blooming by Morgan Harper Nichols
Heidi says, “It’s meaningful and personal but not in a weird way, and it can be given to someone you don’t know well or someone you’ve known all your life. The recipient can dive in anywhere since it’s poetry, and they can read for as long or short as they want. The poems are so lovely—I feel truly seen almost every time I pick it up.”
Click to shop: Dior Nail Glow
Sofia says, “For your sister-in-law. It's a luxurious basic--my favorite kind of gift to give since I think it will actually get used, but it's just a little too nice to treat yourself to day to day.”
Click to shop: LL Bean Boat and Tote
Kit says, “For moms. It’s reasonably priced, you can add a monogram/name/customize relatively cheaply and it’s great for ALL ages! My son is 2 and can carry the small one by himself. And you can put it in the washer and dryer!! Also a great teacher gift! And it’s a classic! Doesn’t go out of style. And multiple sizes! It’s the BEST! Promise.” (EH note: We LOVE these bags!)
Click to shop: The Paper Source Mini Accordion Desk Calendar
Laura says, “It’s the perfect small size (yet still readable!) for anyone’s desk and the illustrations are impeccable and different every year — a little moment of pleasure to brighten up a workspace! They also fit great in greeting cards and/or as stocking stuffers or compliments to larger gifts.”
Click to shop: Beekman 1802 Hand Cream
Amber says: “For co-workers, book club, etc. It's an excellent product I use all the time. The packaging is so pretty, I enjoy seeing it on my desk at work.”
Click to shop: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
Jackie says, “For literally ANYONE. Two big reasons! ONE: This is not a long read. It’s a short (and stunningly beautiful) book for an avid reader OR a very approachable length for your pal/family member/coworker/etc. that you may or may not EVEN KNOW if they are a reader. TWO: it has a different “message” for everyone, but always a meaningful takeaway that sticks with you. “
Click to shop: Sports Illustrated Kids All-Star Goof Ball Trivia
Erin says, “Great gift for a hard age to buy for that promotes interaction with family and friends.
Click to shop: Bombas Gripper Slippers
Heidi says, “For travelers. The perfect travel slipper - machine washable and holds up after many washes and easy to pack! No more walking barefoot in hotel rooms.”
Click to shop: Princess Awesome + Boy Wonder
Andrea says, “Princess Awesome twirly dresses have pockets for kid treasures and have all different STEM and other fun prints that other stores don’t often carry for little girls, like a construction site or video game dress. They are so cute and comfy and hold up for a million washings! They also make adult sizes for the Ms. Frizzles among us.” (EH adds: Check out their Boy Wonder assortment, too!)
Click to shop: Moleskine Large Soft Cover Ruled Notebook
Katherine says, “I gift these to interns at the end of their semester working in my office. I love the quality of these notebooks and I gift them to my interns, to use in their next internship or their first grown up job. I’ve found that having a notebook with me when I have conversations with my superiors, leaders in my workplace, or even at networking coffees is helpful for me professionally, both in signaling that I’m taking the conversation seriously and intend to follow through on what we discuss and helping me to keep track of little things that could be really useful to know down the road. So my interns have usually seen me carrying around a notebook of my own by the time I gift them one of their own, and I hope it serves them well as they go out and start their careers.”
Click to shop: Diptyque Rose Candle
Rachel says, “For your mother-in-law. She loves candles but never wants to buy the expensive one.”
Click to shop: Dandy Ram Farm Everlasting Floral Wreath Kit
Justine says, “For a crafty sister or sister-in-law, or an arty teen. A create-your-own dried flower wreath kit. A fun, low-stakes, pretty project, which supports queer farmers in Maine. Plus, the dried wreaths CAN be holiday decor but also feel less denominational to me.”
Click to shop: Christmas Light Phone Charger
Jessica says, “I have given this to friends, coworkers, and helper types, usually with other items. A fun and easy way to bring some holiday cheer to my friends and family!”
For more, click here for the full spreadsheet of SMT multiples gift ideas. Thank you to everyone who shared!
What You Make (with Love!)
Support the many small business owners from the SMT community this holiday season. Click below for the full spreadsheet. If you would like to add your small business to this list, please fill out this Google form.
Maddie and Me Handmade
Chicago, Illinois
From Kelley: “Knotted and braided headbands, hand-tied bows. I began my business as an ex-pat in London and use a lot of Liberty of London fabrics so I think your followers would love my handmade hair accessories!”
Click to shop. Gift ideas: “Headbands and bows are perfect accessories to elevate your look this holiday season! I have some beautiful braided velvet headbands that are gorgeous this time of year.”
Goodpoint Needlepoint
Easton, Connecticut
From Amanda: “Hand-painted needlepoint canvases. Needlepoint is a wonderful hobby that helps promote mindfulness, reduce stress or anxiety and leaves you with the satisfaction of creating an heirloom item be it a pillow or ornament.”
Click to shop. Gift ideas: “One of our key fob canvases would be great for anyone looking to try out needlepoint! We even have a red key fob canvas with white sheep that would be great for any Princess Diana fans. We are happy to include a postcard with stitching instructions for anyone new to the craft and will have a limited number of beginner kits (includes the threads and a project bag!) available this December.”
Meet Cute Romance Bookshop
San Diego, California
From Becca: “Romance novels, queer nonfiction, delightful trinkets like stickers and keychains and candles and totes and greeting cards etc. Queer-owned, woman-owned.”
Click to shop. Gift ideas: “We do a mystery stack where you can put in info about books someone likes and give us a budget and we will pick out other books we think they’ll like! Or any of the fun trinkets and a gift card!”
CAPERS Home
Seattle, Washington
From Lisa: “An array of merchandise for decorating, entertaining and giving. Much of it is locally made and fair trade. Touted as one of the best collections in the city. We’ve been in business for nearly 40 years and work closely with local makers and artists as well as many small businesses around the country.”
Click here to shop. Gift ideas: “Fingerless alpaca gloves(fair trade), Trina Turk organic cotton pjs, alpaca throws in fabulous stripes, Roland pine scented candles, Dolcetta bon bons, a new cookbook from our collection.”
South & West Provisions
Winter Park, Colorado
From Rachael: “Shippable, curated charcuterie boxes & gifts. South + West Provisions exists to connect people and community through quality ingredients, unique pairings and a thoughtfully curated atmosphere. Mother and daughter team, Rachael + Jordin are obsessed with the art of conversation, living on mountain time, and introducing our Southern Charm to the Wild West.”
Click to shop. Gift ideas: “Our ‘Everything But the Cheese’ boxes make great gourmet gifts! Ship them to your recipient and send the gift of the perfect spread… we curate our products from small, sustainable, women owned businesses. Choose from the O.G. or the Southern Mama.”
Blair’s
Jackson, Mississippi
From Jeannie: “Bespoke gifts for (most) every age and stage.”
Click to shop. Gift ideas: “Too many to choose from! We specialize in coming up with personalized gift ideas for everyone on your list! And especially love a ‘bundled’ gift. We carry a wide variety of items for home and travel, including accessories, baby gifts and more!”
For more, click here for the full list of SMT small business owners. Thank you to everyone who shared!