Theme Dressing in Three Steps
Over here being seen TRYING — twice! 🤠
Many days later, I am still marveling over the Met Gala. This year’s exhibition, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style,” and the evening’s dress code, “Tailored for You,” produced the best red carpet we have seen in years. So much thought went into these fabulous outfits, from Ava DuVernay channeling her great-grandmother to Dapper Dan’s Zoot Suit homage. My personal best dressed with Janelle Monáe wearing a collaboration by Wicked costume designer Paul Tazewell and Thom Browne. The two- to three-dimensional transformation on the carpet? BEYOND.
While the Met Gala is reserved for the A-list elite, the idea of theme dressing has expanded beyond the red carpet. As we well know, fashion fans have taken note — now dressing the part as attendees, too. Concert goers are leading the charge, with movie enthusiasts adding their spin, too. I’d include the trend of more creative dress codes into this, too, snapping wedding and party style into sharper focus.
Last weekend, I had a theme double-header. Our school’s costume gala took place Saturday evening and I had tickets to Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter tour on Sunday. (Who did I think I was, going out two nights in a row? I’m still tired!)
Here’s where I must admit that I have fully flipped on theme dressing. Three years ago, I attended our first school gala reluctantly. The theme was the 80s; Matt and I stomped around the mall, openly (and self-consciously) grumbling about the costume requirement. Wouldn’t it be easier if it was just cocktail attire? I thought.
My chosen reference — a Sloane Ranger a la Princess Diana — was hilariously out of place in the sea of neon and Spandex. I felt self conscious, but also…fascinated? So many parents went all in. In line at the bar, someone explained that the organizers added the theme element years ago because parents loosened up more in costume.
At the Woodstock-themed party the next year, that idea started to click. I had a blast in my bell bottoms. Ok, maybe they’re onto something, I conceded. Last year, I decided to go all in for the 20s flapper night. I fell in love with a beaded, feathered dress, found a headband to match, and pulled a pair of platforms from my closest. My friend Lucy and I sipped champagne beforehand as we had our hair done. It was the best night.
The key, I realized, was embracing the theme. If you are going to do it, DO IT.
And yet, it took a little pep talk. I feel silly any time I look like I am trying. But also, in this one wild and precious life, I want to try. Is it so bad to be seen trying? Trying, after all, made it more fun.
Below, the three-step process I have devised for theme dressing. I hope it helps for a range of occasions, from your next concert to a summer wedding.
Have your own tips? I would love to hear them! Click below to pop them in the comments.
Theme Dressing in Three Steps
Before we begin: I want to acknowledge that theme dressing can feel wasteful, which I hate. Who wants to buy a bunch of stuff you will never wear again? My strategy is meant to minimize that as best as possible. Pull from your closet and shop vintage whenever you can!
Step 1: Anchor the outfit in one standout piece
Start with a mood board if that’s your thing (shoutout to my friend Meg, the queen of Pinterest, who generously shared hers). Visuals always help me get in the right headspace. From there, hunt for a hero piece. All you need is one! Truly. One item to anchor your look and build around. My preferred mode is secondhand shopping, browsing until inspiration strikes.
With the school country-themed gala approaching, Matt and I hauled our three kids through a series of thrift stores one Sunday last month. Combing through racks of clothing, my eye was tuned for key design elements: Fringe, lace, leather, plaid. Two stores later, nothing. We were about to head home when I ducked into a smaller, more curated vintage store (which I always find easier to shop). I gasped when I spotted this homemade circle skirt then immediately texted my little sister, who lives in Tennessee.
It all but screamed country, in a very square dance chic, in a June Carter Cash kind of way. Could I pull it off? With my sister’s pep talk, I felt confident I could. (Added bonus: The fabric and careful hand stitching reminded me of our mom, too, who was an avid quilter.)
Important note #1: Make sure you give your hero piece what it needs. Maybe that’s tailoring, or mending, or cleaning. My skirt needed a petticoat to live life to its fullest. This was my sister’s idea and she was absolutely correct. It swished delightfully.
Important note #2: If you have a date, make sure your partner steps it up, too. Matt and I kept up the thrift store hunt and landed on a red western shirt as his hero piece. (The embroidered cattle? Come on!) Between us, Matt was not sold at first look. “No pressure,” I said. “Let’s keep looking.” (Even though on the inside I was screaming, IT’S PERFECT!) I casually talked it up to a few couples who affirmed my choice, nudging Matt there slowly. Luckily, the shirt was still at the store when we returned.
Once your hero piece is in hand, you must style out the rest of your outfit. Start with your own closet! See what you might have on hand that would work. I started with shoes. I do not own cowboy boots and was reluctant to buy them, even secondhand. I took a good look at my shoes and remembered my ivory Larroudé boots. A bit of a stretch, perhaps — but I loved how they worked, especially with the petticoat.
Tops were trickier. I tried on my chambray shirt, a navy tank, even a denim vest. All of them seemed to muddy the skirt. Reluctantly, I went shopping. My rule for anything bought beyond the hero piece: It must be versatile enough to be worn regularly. The denim corset I found checked that box, a summer going out top if you will. Mother Nature rained on that idea (it was unseasonably wet and chilly the night of the gala). Instead, I found a scoop-neck ribbed navy top that can be a wardrobe staple.
Step 2: Accessorize accordingly!
Once your outfit is set, sprinkle on the accessories. The small touches can make a look sing. Again, try to stick to what you have or will wear again. Also, use what you have on hand as a placeholder — even if it’s not the right thing (For example: My Janessa Leone hat served as a stand in for a Stetson. I quickly realized I didn’t need a hat.) My Soru earrings from my festive fashion newsletter matched the dressier vibe of the boots. I played with a bandana around my neck, but it gave the skirt too much of a 50s feel. Instead, I tied it on this fringe crossbody I had ordered from Madewell.
Psst: Do this for your date, too. We thrifted a belt buckle for Matt and splurged on a pair of cowboy boots. He looks so good in them?? Must find more occasions to wear!
Step 3: Glam, glam, GLAM
The final step is crucial. If you are going to commit to the fashion, then commit to the glam. Spend a bit of time thinking about your hair and makeup to match the vibe of your look. My Googling of “June Carter Cash hair” — all the while thinking: “The higher the hair, the closer to God” — sent me down quite the rabbit hole. You all pulled me out, thankfully, with someone on Instagram suggesting Reese Witherspoon’s Walk the Line interpretation. The high half updo, with a middle part at the front, was perfect.
If you have the time and resources, turn to professionals. I had my hair done, again with my friend Lucy, in a pre-pre-party glam session that was a dream. I also got a manicure, my first red polish in ages. LOVE. And a spray tan! Which, to be honest, was excessive but also added a welcome glow.
Thankfully, the glam held all weekend. Because the night after the gala, I had tickets to Beyoncé. My forever friend, Stacie, flew up from Texas to celebrate her birthday at the Cowboy Carter tour. It was such a treat to see her again (she and I had a lot of fun back in our New York City single lady days).
Stacie led the charge with the outfit pre-planning, finding key pieces and fine-tuning her look. I hemmed and hawed, my search inadvertently coming back to Renaissance-esque looks. I wanted something Cowboy Carter-specific — but what? (This was an unexpected downside to going early in the tour.) When Beyoncé took to the stage for the first show last week, the aesethetic snapped into place: Volume! Fringe! Chaps! Boots!
I found what I thought was the perfect denim jacket to be my hero piece. It oversized and laden with fringe and was supposed to arrive Friday. It…did not. <Shakes fist> I emailed, I called, I refreshed the tracking information constantly on Saturday, hoping by some miracle it would turn up. “Delayed in transit” was the only message.
Cut to Sunday morning, when I was ready to sprint to the mall. I planned to build my outfit around a piece that had arrived: A white cowboy hat with silver stars. Was it too much? Probably! Did I love it? Yes. Plus, Texas-dwelling Stacie approved.
As I reached for the hat, I spotted Matt’s red shirt from the gala the night before. My brain lit up. What if… I thought. I immediately put it on, snapped it up, and rolled up the sleeves. It was voluminous, that’s for sure. How could I work with this?
Suddenly, India de Beaufort’s videos popped into my head. (Do you all follow her? She’s so good — and a big fan of an unbuttoned top.) I took the shirt off, put on a sheer bra underneath, and put it back on, open down to my torso. The spray tan came in handy. But still, I’m not much of a visible-bra girl. Did I dare? I reasoned I could always snap it up if I changed my mind. HERO PIECE SECURED.
From there, I tried at least three pairs of jeans (including the bell bottoms from the Woodstock gala) before reaching for my faded black barrel-style from Gap. The extra volume at the hips offered a great shape. I grabbed my phone, digging through my screenshots to confirm one of the Cowboy Carter sets was awash in red, white and black. Huzzah! It made sense with the concert.
For accessories, I added my earrings from the night before, decided my pockets would be my purse, and dug through my closet for another pair of (shorter, thankfully) Larroudé boots. I had my outfit. As for glam, my manicure was spot on. I revived my waves, brightened my lip, darkened my eyes. Off I went.
What a thrill it was to walk into SoFi Stadium in a sea of themed outfits. It took me ages to find our seat because I kept getting distracted by how good each look was. And how about Stacie? My girl was a shimmering star! Reunited and it felt SO GOOD.
PS: OHMYGOSH THE SHOW IS SO GOOD, BEYONCÉ WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY, 10/10 RECOMMEND, GO IF YOU CAN!!!
And for this weekend, I shall…sleep. Ha! But really. I am in recovery mode, looking at these pictures and smiling. These two events would have been fun regardless — but the outfits? Made them even better!
Questions? Comments? Theme dressing thoughts of your own? You know where to find me. ⬇️
I am so sad to see you write, "I feel silly anytime I look like I am trying... Is it so bad to be seen trying?...Trying after all, made it more fun." Oh my goodness! Aren't we always applauded for trying? At least TRY the broccoli? At least TRY to talk to one person? Good for you, you TRIED, even if you didn't win!? Where would we be if we didn't try, and in some cases, have it stand out? What do people think? They think, "Wow, she really got into it! Now I wish I had!" In this case, TRYING was what the host asked of her guests. Be part of the success of the party. (And you were, good job!!)
I once went to a local party in my small town Maine neighborhood, where the theme was "Bling". We're talking fake bling, because the only real jewelry most of us have are our engagement rings. I am NOT kidding, nearly half of the women came with NO JEWELRY on at all, not even earrings! It wasn't my party, but honest to God, if it had been, I'd have thrown them out! What were they thinking?? Why did they come? We got our revenge by sitting them down and covering them in cheap necklaces, cheap rings and fake stick on jewels. To make a success of a theme or costume party, people have to cooperate. (And not be afraid to be seen trying!)
PS, your 3 step process was RIGHT ON!! Perfect.
I love the theme idea for an event. You look great in both outfits and I’m glad you were able to reuse Matt’s shirt too! So smart to have an anchor piece! Love it!