The Importance of Black Female Mentorship by Epiphany Espinosa
On the anniversary of Meghan’s 40x40 initiative, one woman shares her journey to find a mentor.
Welcome to So Many Thoughts, a semi-weekly newsletter about royal style and the other parts of life I want to think through with you. You can subscribe here and follow me on Instagram at @EHolmes. Thank you!
This week, the Duchess of Sussex will turn 41 — happy birthday, Meghan! Which means it is also the one-year anniversary of her 40x40 mentoring push. Meghan asked 40 friends to spend 40 minutes mentoring a woman re-entering the workforce. “I believe mentorship is one way to help women regain confidence and rebuild their economic strength,” she wrote in a message on Archewell’s website.
I am so grateful for Meghan’s initiative. Through sharing it on Instagram, I connected with @MadeByChann, who has become a dear friend. We have the best Zoom calls each month; it has been so wonderful to get to know Channing and watch her, and her projects, grow.
Today I am excited to share an essay on mentoring from someone else I met on social media : Epiphany Espinosa. She is researcher and lover of pop culture who has worked at some of the biggest brands in the magazine and television industry. Epiphany spent nearly five years in advertising before transitioning into consumer insights where, as she told me, she could combine her “love for words and numbers.” Below you will find her thoughts on the importance of Black female mentorship, along with tips for mentors and mentees. Thank you, Epiphany!
The Importance of Black Female Mentorship
By Epiphany Espinosa
Have you ever felt completely misunderstood, regardless of how hard you try to help someone understand? It can be a male family member who thinks that you should assert yourself more or a friend who refuses to agree that Renaissance is Beyonce’s best album. Now imagine this type of conflict in a work setting where your career and livelihood are at stake.
As a Black woman in corporate America, I’ve had to navigate situations like this throughout my 10-year career. At my first job, I reported to a person with generational, racial, gender, and socioeconomic differences. I didn’t think that should prevent him from being compassionate—and it didn’t…to other people. He made an active attempt to understand my white counterparts and support their career, a luxury that I didn’t have because he never initiated those kinds of conversations. I would see him walk right past my desk to talk to another coordinator who didn’t work for him and ask questions about their goals. Of course my colleague came from a similar background as him, so he naturally gravitated towards them.
In the two years that I worked for him, he never once asked a question about myself. This all came to head when my roommate-turned-best-friend moved out for a job across the country. I was pretty upset that morning and alerted my manager that I would be in the office a little later. Even though I was near tears when I finally made it to the office, my manager focused more on my tardiness and didn’t even acknowledge that I wasn’t okay. He didn’t have any empathy for me.
I chalked this up to a difference in personality and management types, but this continued to happen at future companies. In my next two roles, I reported directly to women and I thought that I wouldn't run into similar issues because women support women, right? No. Both of these women were white, and could enter spaces in corporate America that are much harder for me as a Black woman. After being at each company for an appropriate amount of time, I started breaching the promotion conversation. I was a hard worker with positive feedback from my stakeholders. I brought receipts: emails praising my work and meetings that left attendees impressed. Even though these were two different companies, I received the same exact response. They acknowledged that my work was great but gave me the run around on a specific path to promotion. Neither of these women pushed their supervisors for answers on how I could be promoted. My managers weren’t willing to speak up for me when I couldn’t speak for myself, so they lost a valuable employee. I moved on to another opportunity.
After years of working for people who didn’t mentor or—at the very least—try to understand me, I knew that I was looking for two specific things in a new manager. I needed to work for a Black woman and she had to prioritize mentoring in her management style. Before I even applied for a position at a company, I researched how many Black women were in leadership roles there. Once I received an interview, I asked specific questions about career growth and mentorship. Are you invested in the careers of your employees? Have you mentored your employees before?
One woman in particular gave me a stand-out response. When I asked about mentoring her employees and if it is important to her, she offered up her own references. I was so used to providing references during a job interview that I never considered asking for some from a potential employer. My future boss offered to put me in touch with past employees so that I could hear firsthand from them how she was as a manager and a mentor. It blew me away. She took mentorship so seriously that she had receipts to show how important it was!
One of the easiest decisions that I made was accepting this job. I finally had the opportunity to work for someone who cared about me and my career as much as I did. I’ve never been so excited to work for a company. It has been nearly two years since that interview and my experience here has been so fulfilling. When I feel mentally drained from another Black person killed at the hands of the police, I don’t have to explain myself. My manager just knows. When I need an off-camera day on Zoom, she understands the pressure that Black women feel to look perfect. This is the first time in my career that I can bring my whole self to work. Not a part of myself, the whole. My heart breaks to think of the many Black women who do not get to feel this way at work, especially since I used to be one of these women.
I strongly believe that people in positions of power are responsible for doing the extra work needed to manage employees from different backgrounds. Here is my advice if you are mentoring a Black person and come from a vastly different background:
Educate yourself on the micro-aggressions that Black people experience in the workplace.
Stay up-to-date on the current news cycle and consider how certain breaking news affects your team.
Connect your employees to people in your network who might be better suited as a mentor.
Use your privilege to give less privileged people a seat at the table.
Advocate for people in rooms where they can’t speak for themselves.
If you are looking for a mentor, networking is key. Talk to people in your circles to see if they can make any connections. Mentorship is such a personal relationship, so it is always better to reach out to someone you know personally or through a mutual connection.
While you are searching, it is okay to desire a mentor who understands your lived experience. We are made to feel bad for having a preference. How is this any different from wanting a Black therapist or female doctor? There just aren’t enough people from minority groups in leadership roles who can act as mentors, but this won’t change unless we demand more representation in those areas. Promote more Black employees. Hire more Black executives. Nurture Black talent.
Thank you, Epiphany! You can find her on Instagram at @EpiphanyXiann.
✏️ Before I go, a quick note on school supplies: The SMT clear-the-list push continues with this Google doc of teacher supply lists. Please consider supporting an educator or sharing the spreadsheet on your social media channels. (If you are a teacher with a list to be added, you can email me at Hello@SoManyThoughts.com). And remember to call your reps—especially your state and local officials—to advocate for more funding for our schools.
Have a great week, friends. I will see you back in your inboxes on Friday.
The So Many Thoughts newsletter comes out twice a week. You can subscribe here, follow the fun on Instagram at @EHolmes, and check out my New York Times bestseller, HRH: So Many Thoughts on Royal Style.