How Should We Remember Princess Diana?
Reflections on the People’s Princess 25 years after her death. Plus, the biggest lesson Diana taught me about fashion.
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My earliest, and most vivid, royal memory is the night that Princess Diana was killed in a car crash in Paris. I was in high school, cozied up on a couch at my boyfriend’s house watching a movie. His mom shouted down from upstairs that we needed to change the television channel; together we spent hours glued to cable news coverage. I had not followed Diana’s life closely, having been just too young to keep tabs in real time. But the tragedy of her sudden death hit me hard.
Twenty five years later, and now much more immersed in her story, I have found myself wondering what is the best—or perhaps most appropriate—way to remember Princess Diana? My heart first goes to William and Harry. They were were just 15 and 12 at the time of their mother’s death. The images of them walking in Diana’s funeral procession, sporting in black suits and strained expressions, are unbearable even now.
Princes William and Harry, along with Prince Philip, Earl Spencer, and Prince Charles, in Diana's funeral procession. (Photo via Tim Graham Photo Library / Getty Images)
A year later, those still-young boys issued a joint statement, pleading with the public to stop—or even just stem—the outpouring of grief. “They believe their mother would want people now to move on because she would have known that constant reminders of her death can create nothing but pain to those she left behind,” the statement read, according to the Guardian’s 1998 report. “They therefore hope, very much, that their mother and her memory will now finally be allowed to rest in peace.”
Which, oof. That has clearly not happened. Yes, there have been stretches where Diana was perhaps not as present—but her memory has never been far from reach. And now we are in the midst of an extraordinary Diana royal renaissance. It’s hard to pinpoint what moment caught the attention of a new generation, eager to learn her story. There is the wildly popular Netflix series The Crown, of course, and a slew of other fictionalized accounts, including the Oscar-nominated Spencer. Add to that a host of documentaries seeking to piece the facts together and a handful of larger-than-life experiences, like Diana: Accredited Access as well as Diana: A Tribute Exhibition opening this week on the Las Vegas Strip (really). The mix includes all of the merchandise, too, from the re-issued black sheep jumper to the Virgin Atlantic logo sweatshirt. If you’d like a piece of Diana, she’s there for the taking.
Diana at a polo match in 1983 in a now iconic Muir and Osborne 'black sheep' sweater. (Photo via Princess Diana Archive / Getty Images)
I have certainly bought into, and played my own part, in all of this. Researching Diana’s life was the most fascinating part of working on my book, HRH: So Many Thoughts on Royal Style. I was so deeply affected by her story and the ways in which she was glorified and pilloried on the global stage. She was just 19 years old when Charles proposed and 36 when she died. As I watch, and comment on, the royal family today, I feel Diana’s influence in fashion and beyond.
With the anniversary of her death today, and another swell of coverage, I have been mulling over what to say or how to remember her. I think it is safest to take cues from her sons. I see Diana’s influence in the work that William and Harry have chosen, including mental health and homelessness, as well as the hands-on approach they take with crowds.
Diana takes her boys to their first day of school in 1989. (Photo via Getty Images)
Consider, too, the ways in which William and Harry have chosen to help the public remember her, signaling an acceptance that her memory is beyond containment. They came together last year to unveil a memorial statue outside of Kensington Palace. Although it received mixed reactions at the time, I found it quite moving when I had a chance to see it in London last summer.
Today her sons appear to be marking this moment privately. But Harry briefly made his wishes known last week at a polo match for his charity, Sentebale, which means “forget-me-not” in the African language of Sesotho.
“Next week is the 25th anniversary of my mother’s death, and she most certainly will never be forgotten,” he said. “I want it to be a day filled with memories of her incredible work and love for the way she did it.”
Diana and Meghan both chose a similar hue of emerald green for a maternity moment. (Photo via Getty Images)
I would say the same sentiment is true about Diana’s fashion, which is why I think there is so much attention given to the moments Kate and Meghan channel her style. Yes, sometimes it feels as though the media is a bit too eager to call “Diana inspired!” on royal outfits in search of clicks. But there are moments when one of the duchesses wears something that is an undeniable nod to Diana. I always look for a definitive sign—a design detail or a styling choice—that ties the women and their ensembles together. Another giveaway? When one of the women wears a piece of jewelry from Diana’s collection. It feels like such an intimate connection to see Diana’s pearl and diamond earrings on Kate or her butterfly studs on Meghan.
My sincere belief is that any fashion moment that references Diana is done with William or Harry’s approval. Kate wouldn’t choose a polka dot dress to appear on the steps of the Lindo Wing to with baby George, the same print Diana wore in the same spot with William, if she didn’t have her husband’s blessing.
Diana and Kate both wore polka dots to debut their babies. (Photos via Getty Images)
So why do the duchesses do this? To me, it’s a way of bringing her back into the conversation, without mentioning the trauma of her divorce or the tragedy of her death. It inevitably leads to a resurfacing of glorious pictures, of a smiling Diana in her royal role. Meghan wore Diana’s diamond tennis bracelet for her sit-down interview with Oprah in 2021, which resulted in a host of headlines mentioning the late princess. The same happened when Kate wore a white dress with polka dots to Royal Ascot this year. By invoking Diana through her fashion, the next generations of royals is keeping her in the mix on their terms.
One of my favorite shot of Diana, exiting a helicopter in 1985. (Photo via Getty Images)
But mostly: Studying the princess’s approach to fashion taught me an important lesson about my own personal style. Somewhere in my late 20s, I began to heavily favor clothes and accessories you might describe as “classic.” Look no further than the stack of six (!) solid-color crewneck merino wool sweaters in my closet. I decided, without quite realizing it, that streamlined and simple was the grown-up thing to do. And listen, it’s still how I would describe most of my style. I default to classic.
However! Studying Diana’s use of bold fashion—how she embraced an array of silhouettes and colors and textures—reminded me how fun it can be. Royal fashion had always been interesting, but she made it exciting. And that holds its own power, for both the viewer and the wearer.
So for the virtual launch of HRH, I shunned my collection of black sheath dresses and instead bought a new white mini dress with a bejeweled oversize Peter Pan collar, a sheer bodice, and puff sleeves. It was, as they say, A DRESS. I still smile when I look at the pictures. Such a departure! But, gosh, it made publishing a book in a pandemic as fun as it possibly could be.
Another very Diana-inspired purchase: THE COAT. My purple plaid impulse buy at the Royal Windsor Horse Show—the one that Kate wore—brings me such joy. And isn’t that what clothing is meant to do?
I think about this balance of timeless and trendy all the time, and I have come to the conclusion that one wardrobe, one person, can be both. If it scares you, I am happy to share that there is no need to go all-in on trends; this tactic works very well when sprinkled in, almost as a surprise. Take the Duchess of Sussex in New York this summer, starting the morning off in timeless black Givenchy separates before changing into pleated navy shorts for lunch. And the Duchess of Cambridge, long celebrated for her classic style, choosing the emerald green Vampire’s Wife dress to be preserved in painted posterity in her first joint portrait with Will. The unexpected is so exciting.
So I will leave you today with a 1985 quote from Diana about her fashion that I often come back to—and I hope you will keep in mind, too. “Sometimes I can be a little outrageous, which is quite nice,” she said. “Sometimes.”
The princess on a 1985 tour of Italy. (Photo via Getty Images)
I would love to hear your thoughts on Princess Diana. Is there a memory you have of her or something about her life that inspired you? Please hit “Join the discussion" at the bottom of this email and leave a comment on this newsletter.
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