‘Democracy in Retrograde’ Is the Answer to Your Political Doom Spiral
Co-authors Sami Sage and Emily Amick with reasons to hope — and what to do — at this critical moment in US politics.
This is shaping up to be quite the summer in US politics, isn’t it? I speak from experience when I say it’s easy to be dragged down a doom spiral while reading the news or scrolling social media.
If you, like me, would like to spend less time worrying and more time doing, then you must pick up a copy of the new book, Democracy in Retrograde: How to Make Changes Big and Small in Our Country and in Our Lives. Out this week, it’s co-authored by Sami Sage, chief brand officer at Betches Media, and
(aka @EmilyInYourPhone on Insta), a lawyer and former counsel to Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. Sage and Amick make a formidable team, well-versed in the inner workings of American politics and deeply familiar with the pulse of the online masses. Democracy in Retrograde is a well-researched call to action, with all of the hope and none of the lecturing. Reading it feels like a pep talk from a plugged-in friend. Plus, there are infographics, quizzes and writing prompts, all in service to getting more people involved.
“We believe that civic engagement is a form of self-care,” Sage and Amick write in the introduction. “Making your voice heard by your elected representatives and becoming engaged in your community are fundamental assertions of self-worth and self-esteem.”
YES. I reached out to them both last week to find out more about the book (and its eye-catching pink-forward cover). We also chatted about fashion, politics, and the burden of presentation placed disproportionately on women. And finally, keep scrolling for their answers to your questions, including the debate over SCOTUS, how to handle disagreements within one’s own political party, and the most effective thing — beyond voting, obviously — that we can all do as the general election approaches.
Democracy in Retrograde is available on Amazon, Bookshop.org, or wherever you get your books. Do the authors a favor and ***ORDER TODAY*** to help them close out their pub week on a high note. 💖
PS: For more, check out Sami on the Morning Announcements podcast here and subscribe to Emily’s Substack here.
‘Democracy in Retrograde’ Is the Answer to Your Political Doom Spiral
Please note: Our conversation has been edited and condensed.
Can we start with the despair many people are feeling right now when it comes to the state of US politics? Someone asked me if there is any reason to feel hope — what do you say to that?
Emily Amick: We hear people, we know this is a problem. We wrote the book in part as a way to help people, to offer a solution.
What’s the other option? To not hope? To give up entirely? To hand over power to the people who want to destroy our environment, take away our bodily autonomy, and fundamentally destroy democracy? We can’t do that. In fact, our silence is helping them. It’s what they want. They want us to tap out.
There are so many people right now who want America to succeed, who want to see people supported, who want to have democracy and human rights win. And if that is not hopeful, I don’t know what is.
Sami Sage: I would add that hope and optimism are not the same thing. You don’t have to be optimistic to be hopeful. But to be hopeful, you have to find glimmers of positivity and potential, that our country can be better — and that you can make our country better.
So many more people agree on so many more things than they realize. People just don’t turn out in elections en masse as consistently. We assume everyone is 50-50, everything is so super close. But in reality, so many people are disengaged. That’s an unfortunate thing. But that also means there’s a lot of opportunity to inspire those people and to engage them.
“There are so many women who have been socialized to think that they aren’t supposed to talk about politics. That is what the people in power want. They want your silence.” — Emily Amick
How did you two connect and end up writing Democracy in Retrograde?
Sami: We became friends through DMs three days after the insurrection. We felt a kinship, seeing the seriousness of it, and we connected over the idea of everyone finding their own path of community engagement. It can’t just be a few activists who take care of every issue. It needs to be a situation where: I got this, you got that, and this person has that issue.
The book is ultimately trying to help guide people towards finding what is that issue for them? What is that role and what talents and skills can they offer to an issue they care about?
Emily: My political philosophy is a rising tide lifts all boats and it requires thousands and thousands of raindrops. I needs to be everyone doing a little thing.
What do you hope people take away from this book?
Emily: There are so many women who have been socialized to think that they aren’t supposed to talk about politics. That is what the people in power want. They want your silence. These conversations are frankly one of your most powerful political weapons. We want to make sure that you feel empowered to use it.
Sami: I think people want there to be a separation, as in: Oh, politics is your little hobby on the side and that only people who are into politics can do politics. But in reality, politics affects everyone — whether you are engaged in it or not, whether you are aware of how it is affecting you or not.
Emily: It is the road you drive on, the air you breathe, the place your kids go to school. All of these things are decided by people in politics.
Let’s talk about the title and cover of your book, and your use of the color pink.
Sami: Democracy in Retrograde is a play on “mercury in retrograde” to bring in that astrological, cosmic feeling. We wanted it to feel exciting. We definitely wanted a patriotic combination for the cover, with red, white, and blue shades, but with pink as the primary color.
Emily: Our audience is women. My favorite color is pink. We wanted a book that would translate into the world of social media, that people would see and immediately know. We didn’t want the US Capitol or the White House on the cover because this isn’t a book about that. This is a book about people. That’s what politics is, that’s what civic life is.
So much of this book is especially targeted towards reframing things. We have a section on leadership. What does it mean to be a leader? Traditionally, when people talk about a leader, it’s like this big, tall white man who leads with power and strong words. And I’m like, that’s not a good leader. A leader to me is someone who has emotional intelligence, who calls people in, who sees people who need help and figures out a way to help them.
“It’s really not the norm for women to show up and be taken seriously, in a financial and influential sense, unless they think about their appearance. Men don’t have to do that.” — Sami Sage
I am curious for your thoughts on fashion in politics. I see it as both a burden and an opportunity, this sort of double-edged sword that is placed on the shoulders of female public figures.
Sami: I have been working in media for a while and I’ve noticed a pattern. I always have had so much additional stress [over my appearance] alongside any achievement. You always have to show yourself, interacting with readers or going on camera, even to make a TikTok or a Reel. You are showing your face. And I’m like: Should I be putting on mascara? It’s very difficult.
It’s really not the norm for women to show up and be taken seriously, in a financial and influential sense, unless they think about their appearance. Men don’t have to do that. They don’t have to take the entire day to make sure their hair color is up to date or they have their lashes on. They just get in the shower and then they roll out.
The problem is that it actually does keep people out of real spaces of power. For female politicians, there is always commentary about what they are wearing. It takes up oxygen, whereas it would never take up oxygen for men.
But on the other hand, I think clothes can be used as a weapon.
Yes, exactly. It is unfair and it presents an opportunity at the same time.
Emily: One of the things that I really enjoy about doing work that is not practicing law is there are not those professional constraints. I get to wear whatever I want. And what I like to wear is large dresses. I like a floor-length gown with a poofy sleeve. That’s what makes me happy. Emily Calandrelli has deemed this “professional cupcake” style. [EH note: Love Emily! Click below for my newsletter with her.]
Women dressing in politics is really complicated and I would like it to be less so. The suits that I was told to wear were to look more like men, to fit in with systems defined by men. And so much of this book is about how we don’t need to exist in those systems. We can have our own systems. We can define what success means for us. And for me, that means wearing a floor-length red gown.
I’m going into this book tour right out of cancer treatment. This is a topic you just discussed, Elizabeth. So I am happy to be here, happy to be up and about. You know what I mean? I don’t look like my usual self, but it doesn’t even matter to me.
[EH note: I asked on Instagram what question you all had for the authors. Here are their answers to a few.]
SMT QUESTION: How do you protect your own energy when reading the news and social media right now?
Emily: In Democracy in Retrograde, we have a series of exercises we bring you through as you read the book. At the end of the book, you have a civic action plan developed already. One of the first exercises we have is to audit your news diet. That is a really important way to make sure you are able to get information but not information that is so blood boiling and outrage-inducing that you want to stop consuming it. Because the important thing is to be able to be informed about what’s happening in your community, in your country, about the issues that you care about. Getting outraged on the internet? That’s not a civic action. Being informed is a civic action.
SMT QUESTION: How do you handle disagreements in your own party?
Emily: One of the things that makes America great is that it is a melting pot. We’re going to have different political opinions and our political process is meant to get people with different political opinions to work together.
Sami: Disagreement does not have to be synonymous with disrespect, and I think part of the problem is that the in-fighting is disrespectful. To build a majority, you need coalitions. The internet really exacerbates dunking on people or ratio-ing them. But I think we need a little bit more exposure and understanding, not writing people off entirely if they hold one opinion.
SMT QUESTION: What do we do about the Supreme Court?
Emily: There are a number of different things that can very viably be done. One is to impeach the justices and replace them. The second is to pack the court. The third is to wait until some of them die and replace them. All of those things require winning elections.
Here’s my big pitch on government: Laws exist until we change them. There are systems set up to change them. People really think of all of these things as immutable, but the way the government is set up right now is, in fact, to change. That’s the whole system. That’s why we want them passing laws all the time. The justices are changing our interpretation of laws every single time they make a decision. Nothing is set in stone. The question is: In what direction do things change?
SMT QUESTION: What is something we can all be doing?
Sami: I know that it feels like when you go on the internet, people are screaming at you to vote. But what people don’t seem to realize is the power of their own voice in reaching the people closest to them, most of whom are probably not hyper-engaged voters and may not be extremely aware or educated.
One of the most effective ways of getting people to vote and to change people’s minds on political issues — or get them to be engaged in something — is talk to people in your life. It’s not the television ads or the pundits or the billboards or the press conferences or the debate even. It is people speaking to each other when there is already trust established.
My thanks to Sami and Emily, for both the chat and writing this book. Follow them on Instagram at @Sami and @EmilyInYourPhone (subscribe to Emily’s Substack here — her latest newsletter looks at TradWives).
But mostly: Order your copy of Democracy in Retrograde TODAY on Amazon, Bookshop.org, or wherever you get your books. 💖 Buy one for yourself and one for a friend — and start having those much-needed conversations.
ICYMI: Click below for my conversation with Emily about the ‘Kate-spiracy’ theories this spring.
Absolutely love following Emily and so happy to see my corners of instagram collide ❤️
Such a great interview and read! Thank you for sharing Elizabeth!